Last night I focused on all I was thankful for and ended my day with a grateful heart. It wasn’t easy after the day I had; but I slept peacefully and woke up thankful for this brand new day! Today is day 3 of our 10 day challenge A Journey of Thanksgiving. How are you doing on this journey? I hope that you are opening your heart to thankfulness and learning to find joy in the messes of this wonderful thing we call life.
Happiness is a choice. Being positive is a choice. Loving yourself is a choice. Accepting your flaws is a choice. To this day I am still learning to accept myself for who I am. Some days I do not like myself. I don’t have the confidence I wish I could have, but I am becoming much more confident with what I want in my life. I know what is truly important to me. Loving all of ourselves isn’t easy and that’s why I decided today I would take a closer look at me.
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Steve Furtick.
I am an introvert. I am an observer. I like deep conversations but I’m awkward with small talk…. just run into me at the store and try to carry on a conversation after “Hi, how are you?” I am very in tune with my inner thoughts but struggle to fully express them to others. I am a listener. I absorb what is said and need time to process it before I can respond; I am not witty. I don’t like attention drawn to me. To walk in late to a family gathering, meeting, church, party etc. makes me sick to my stomach, literally! I have to prepare myself mentally when we are going to be around people. And then I need alone time to recharge myself after. I panick when I’m put on the spot, even in a positive way and my mind goes blank… utterly blank. I’m a planner. I put things away. Lack of common sense is a huge pet-peeve of mine. I prefer to see results than hear about them. I try to see the good in others all the time. I don’t like to ask for help. I am a homebody. I love simplicity. I can be quite mean when my pain levels are at their peak. I lose my patience. I have a temper. I do not judge and I hate gossip. I’m stubborn. I feel like I am losing my mind more so than I should. I take on more than I can handle. I have difficulty saying no. I am a very bad liar. I love to entertain and wait on guests. I pay attention to details. I am frugal. I wear hand-me-downs. I love to handwrite everything. I hate printing. I love to read. I’ve read books that I haven’t seen the movies about yet. I love the holidays and decorating. I prefer cold weather over hot weather. Fall is my favorite season. I love to gaze out the window at the freshly fallen snow. I would live in Alaska or on the northern east coast. My dream house is a farmhouse.
My husband always comes before my kids. My kids are my world. I like animals but never wanted a pet. I’d be lost without my dog. My home is my haven. I wish my children stayed home more. Disabilities stink. I miss working in special education. I want to volunteer more, but can’t always physically commit. I don’t like watching tv during the day time. I love early mornings. 11 pm is very late for me. I prefer to work hard then play hard, not the other way around. I hate when I put something off until the last-minute. I wear lounge pants, a cami and my light-weight hooded jackets all year-long. I own less clothes, shoes and jackets than my husband. I do not own a winter coat. My striped scarf is my favorite accessory. I do laundry all the time. I love the smell of clean laundry. I would buy a perfume with that scent if they made it. I do not own perfume. It takes me years sometimes to purchase something for our home because we don’t have the extra money to replace it when I tire of it. There are incomplete projects throughout our home waiting for us to have the time and or money to complete. I have breakdowns every once in a while because of that. I like to complete what I start. I like to sit back and admire my hard work. I like when we accomplish things together.
I have a love/hate relationship with electronic devices. I can’t text with my thumbs so I use swipe. I text with full words and sentences. I will not answer my phone when at a register. I put my phone on silent when at church or a school meeting. I do not text and drive. I love Instagram. I use Facebook to keep in touch. I like Twitter but I’m not a very good twitterer (is that what we’re called?). I’m currently watching more than 5 shows on Netflix. I wash the dishes and leave them in the strainer longer than I should. I must have every bath towel, hand towel and wash cloth in our linen closet folded and facing the same way. I am an organizer. I can’t cook in a dirty kitchen. I can’t sleep in a messy bed. I can’t just sit and relax in a cluttered room. I like breakfast for dinner and cheeseburgers for breakfast. I drink coffee in the morning but prefer tea at night. I research everything before I buy it. I wish I could contribute more to our financial situation. I don’t care if people like me. I don’t like to say things that may hurt someones feelings. I can swear like a trucker. I hate confrontation. I love my neighborhood and my neighbors are like my family. I stand in the doorway and wave good-bye to my husband when he leaves. I greet him at the door when he comes home. I say a prayer as my children get on the bus every morning and another one when they return home safe in my arms.
I support our armed forces, police officers, firefighters, first responders. I am enlisted as a Republican but I am really a Patriot at heart. I am a proud American. Every patriotic song makes me cry, every single time. I miss old tv shows I watched as a child. I wish my kids had better celebrity role models to look up to. I love watching old movies and musicals. I hope to someday see a play on Broadway. I’m old fashioned. My favorite era is the 1940’s (yes I would have liked to live during the Great Depression) I love depression cake. I always admired and wanted to be like my Grandma Theresa. I hope to be a fun sweet-loving grandma like my Grandma Ethel. I miss my grandmothers everyday. I practice our traditions and create new ones as a family. I believe in having manners. I have morals and live by them. Compassion, empathy and kindness are a necessity. I smile at everyone I make eye contact with. I always leave early so I can arrive on time. I do 5 over the speed limit. I like to take pictures. I don’t have them printed. I hate that I don’t take the time to have my pictures printed. I love handmade cards and gifts. I care about others happiness and wellbeing. I want to give more.
I like to cook and bake from scratch. I love homemade food. I cook dinner nearly every night. I use our good china. Water is my drink of choice. I do drink wine. I love to eat dessert. I will eat any kind of pastry or ice cream. Mmm, Abbott’s ice cream with mint sprinkles. I never exercised. I wish now that I had. I do PT exercises when I can. I will never have rock hard abs. I enjoy dancing. I am a terrible dancer. I love all kinds of music. I am listening to Christmas music right now. It’s easy for me to point out all my flaws. I wish I never did that in front of my kids. It hurts them to hear us talk bad about ourselves. I know this because about 8 years ago my daughter told me that with tears running down her face. My children inspire me everyday. Sometimes I want to run away. I fall in love with my husband all the time. I love being married. I love being a mom. I will not let us: go to bed angry or leave the house upset with each other. We don’t have as many family game nights as we used to and I miss that. My heart hurts when I think about how much I love my family. I wish I could pause or rewind time once in a while. I say small prayers throughout the day. I strive to strengthen my faith, fail, then try again. I am happy with my life. I am learning to be happy with myself.
Wow, that’s a lot of information! As I am reading it back there is so much more about me popping in my head (don’t worry I am not going to add them) and some that I want to delete, but I won’t. This is me and I must learn to love all there is about me. There is a lot I am still learning about myself and a lot I can work on. Have you ever taken the time to just start writing down everything you like, love, hate, want, need, etc? It can help you understand and appreciate the person you are. Maybe even love yourself and help you love your life. I pray I can grow to love both the good and bad within myself. I have to be my best self each and every day. Today I am thankful that God made me who I am.